青青的共享空间

Life changes so fast. Ups and downs are all what we have to experience. Life is beautiful because of them; thanks to them, life is like a box of chocolate.

After three months' work, I finally will go back to Sweden. The chance of being employed by my supervisor in Interactive Institute in Stockholm came unexpectedly and struck me greatly. I was happy to hear the news and I would like to continue the project which I had already done part of before I came back to China.

Three months working in MR Gallery is not long but enough. I reviewed the work I did here during the time. I have participated in many exhibitions and trivial work also. I have got on well with all my colleagues. I have been blamed by Jane and Douglas for not doing well in some things. I did learn a lot from the experience. How to communicate with people, how to deal with difficulties in work environment, how to translate the text in a high level, how to prepare for exhibitions... I tried my best to adapt to the new situation and I did make efforts to satisfy my boss.

I am always modest and willing to do everything. Finally, I found I thought too much for the gallery, but what have I got? Besides the big words like “good experience and valuable chance”, do I really get something visible? Nothing. I have not sold out one piece of art work, so I almost did nothing according to Douglas.

Ellen and I have to be here almost every day, but they can come at any time they like. It’s ok. I can understand. They are in a higher position, so they should have some priority. In china, it is crucial that you know your position and have the attitude and behavior correspondently.

We did many things these days. They were not here and gave calls many times. We just followed their orders and finished the tasks. I have been here for three months. It seems that everything should be decided by Jane or Douglas, no matter how small it is. I think a mature manager should be able to trust his employees and give more rights to them so that they can make full use of their talents.

Anyway, I will finish my first job this week. Next week I will go back home and after several weeks I will go back to Sweden.

I really did not expect that I could go back to Sweden again, let alone with salary!

10.30

This Monday, I celebrated my birthday with my colleagues. Our boss would come on Wednesday. We were afraid that we would work overtime that day, so we decided to do it on Monday.

There were not so many visitors on Monday but we did much work. In the afternoon, we finished our work half an hour in advance. Then we went to the KTV which we went to last time.

It should be my treat, but Tony paid for the first two hours and some snacks. We sang happily especially Tony and Summer. They liked singing very much, that’s why we chose to go to KTV. I did not sing much, since I am not a person who fascinates with singing. But I do like music. Moreover, I had hurt my throat, so I could not use my voice too much. Time passed quickly. We extended one more hour. I paid this time and bought more snacks. After that, we were all very tired. It was a little late and we were not hungry, so we drove Wesley back to the second exhibition hall.

While they were having hamburgers in KFC, I went to a Paris Cake Store and bought four pieces of cakes in the shopping mall before we went to sing. The store looked very expensive, full of Parisian taste. The desserts were so beautiful and attractive that lured everyone passed by to buy them. They were indeed expensive, but anyway I wanted to share them with my colleagues.

We then opened them and started to eat the cakes. We did not have candles, but they got an idea. Wesley turned off the light. Tony took out his cell phone and pressed a button so that it showed light in the dark. With the “candle light”, I made a wish. They sang birthday song for me. Then I pretended to blow the candles. The light faded and the light was on. We started eating the cakes. I wanted the small chocolate one. It was good, but I did not think it was worthy to be so expensive.

Then, we chatted in the hall. We talked many topics, ranging from politics, art works, overseas’ life etc. We are almost at the same age, so we have many things in common, no generation gap among us. We talked until late in the midnight and tony drove me and summer back home. He must be very tired.

I felt very happy at that moment. Though we got to know each other for just two months, I really liked to be with them. Each of them has unique personality but they have something in common, that is, honest and open hearted, trustable and considerable, all of which I value greatly. I like the small team we currently have. It is vivid and energetic. If it were a big company which has many employees, thing would be more complicated. I have already been very familiar with the difficult social skills required in a working environment in a Chinese corporation. People are struggling to climb to a high position, even through betraying and trampling on colleagues’ emotions or profits.

My mom has informed me again and again that how to be smart in a working situation. Self-defense is important. It seems that there can never be friends in working place. I hate all these so-called tips of social communications. I hate being so tired to please somebody. Though I know it is necessary to know how to communicate in an effective way in career, I think I will still try to keep direct and honest to people.

I think im quite lucky. I can meet all of these people when I just came back from Sweden. This is my first official job, so they are my first colleagues. That is very special for me. I will remember the birthday with them through all my life. The beautiful memory will never fade in my heart.

Last saturday, I went out with my good friends. It was perhaps one of the best days in Beijing so far. The weather was warm and sunny, and I had two best friends with me. I brought some chocolate from Sweden to Gao, and she brought us a kind of chips which were from Taiwan.

It was the first time I had a day off with Ellen on the same day. We were quite exhausted these days. When we almost finished our work of preparation for Miami Exhibition, we decided to be off this day no matter what Jane would say. We deserved it! They could come very late but Ellen and I had to come to the gallery every day on time to open the door. She has been applying for universities in the USA. Now the time is limited, so she needs to be hurry up. She has got a lot to do. I try to share the work in the hope of releasing some burden for her.

We walked around the area and had dinner in a small restaurant where the food was not so good actually. We went to Wangfujing after that.

Gao went to her friends’ place at around 4pm, we were still there until evening. Ellen went to see a teacher from an American university. I went shopping in the street. More new shopping centers were built up in the area. I was so excited to see fashion brands.

I waited for Ellen for some time but she was still there. I was so cold outside and it was getting late.I was afraid that we could not catch the last bus, so I told her I would go first. I got off at the wrong station when I took the subway. So I returned to the same line and got off at the right station. When I was walking to the line 10, I heard somebody called my name. When I turned around my head, I saw Ellen. What a coincidence! I did not believe my eyes at the moment. Since I just sent her message and thought she would be home very late, but we met by accident in the subway!! Perhaps that is the fate?? If a girl met a boy she knew by accident like this, I guess a romantic love affair would be likely to occur.

We went home together. It was half past eleven when we arrived at home. Both of us were very tired.   

Short trip to Shanghai

When I arrived at the train station, I found there were too many people. Perhaps it was early in the morning and just the time to work. I was pushed by the crowds and could hardly breathe. I prepared everything, including the subway map and the route to the interview place. I got there very early, before nine o’clock in the morning. It was not difficult to find. There were many high buildings around. They were either business mansions or shopping malls. I could feel it was quite prosperous in this area. I waited until 10.15 and went into the Shenggao International Mansion. I saw the sign of “ZARA” “INDITEX’. A pretty girl was sitting there as receptionist. I told her my intention of being there and she told me to wait. So I just sat down on the sofa and relaxed.

Diana interviewed me. She looked kind and mild. We talked in Chinese first. She mainly checked my CV and asked me why I chose to study so much. I told her the truth and my willingness to learn new things. Then we changed to speak in English. I tried to make myself look confident and answer every question honestly. I tried to show that I could do a lot of things and I wanted to try new challenges. I am not content with my current situation and want to have some breakthrough for my future career. She read my CV and thought I was more suitable to be fashion editor in some magazines. Though it is true that I also would like to be that, I do not think it’s a conflict. If I can have a chance of managing a store like this, why not? This is more about practical things, not just words or pictures. I should develop this kind of skills and I am sure I can do it well. Talking about the location, I said I did not care, I would like to travel and go to new places. It means that I may be probably asked to work in other cities outside shanghai. It’s ok. As long as I can enter into the company, it is not a problem. She also talked about how hard this position would be. But to me, it was no problem at all. I am hard working and I know only through great efforts can we reach our goals.

The interview went on well. But I am not sure about the result and I’d better be conservative. She had many reasons not to recruit me, but she could also employ me. I will see whether I’m lucky enough or not.

I went shopping in the afternoon and bought stuff. I went to People’s Square. There were shopping street underground where people can bargain. I bought some accessories at reasonable prices. I walked along the street when I came out of the subway. I saw a high tower with Gothe style. I was wondering whether it was a church or not, I saw a sign on the side of the gate: Shanghai Fine Arts Museum. I was surprised to see it, since I had never imagined it was a gallery. The exhibition there was quite “Red”, since the name was Workers Power. I walked ahead, and found Shanghai Theater. The architecture was very special. It looked like a gymnasia. I took some pictures there and went to the square. It was a park with green land and spring. Many people sat and relaxed there.

I was so tired. So I went back to the train station very early. I waited for several hours.

I watched the film a few days ago. I wanted to write something on it, only found no time to do it that day.

This film is definitely non-mainstream, or anti-mainstream. Some will see it as a kind of black humor which makes people laugh through ridiculous plots and disgusted actions. The fate of the hero- Bruno, who is a fashion reporter from Austria, is unfortunate and miserable. His desire to become celebrity and his identity as a gay forms an obvious contrast. We have to admit that the mainstream of the society in the world is still following the tradition of structuralism. The contrast between two concepts as "center-margin","Men-Women',"West-East","White-Black","Straight- Homosexual' etc. is still discussed controversially in many fields, especially in some conservative cultures.

Bruno is a gay. His femininity makes his behaviors funny. I think the film producer used a perspective of straight people. So the film is full of wield narration, making fun of his action. But I can see the hidden meaning behind this. This is a serious question: a gay or a straight? He is sincere, simple and does what he wants to do. He is honest to his own heart. But what he does is abandoned by social conventions. So when all the other people cannot understand and accept him, he changes his mind many times. He himself does not realize the deep reason that has led to his situation. He tries to enter into the society and even wants to be straight in the end, but he failed. It is not that easy to change the sexual tendency. I felt very sad when seeing his adopted black child was taken away by the so-called “Child Care Charity” which is a symbol of authority, his helpless expression on his face, his cry…. It is also sad to see his efforts to be a straight man. He is just so weak and alone in society. He has no one to resort to and has to struggle to survive under endless abuse and bias.

Though the end is happy, like most of commercial movies,(I think this really weakens the value of the film), it at least has aroused some attention to the life of homosexual persons.

Living in the margin of a society, they cannot avoid of being refrained by huge power of social systems. Not only the homosexual persons, in fact, all the persons who are different from or tend to challenge the mainstream or authority will face great obstacles and hard to step forward.

Sometimes I feel myself different and I want to insist on being myself, once start working, I feel the strong stress and pressure from everywhere. I am learning to negotiate with social conventions and forces and I am trying to live a happy life in “margin”. I just do not want to lose the most valuable personality in human beings- honesty and passion.